now i'm sitting right beside the one i love. we're using net. he was chatting with his friends. even though we didn't talk much now. but its more than enough......now i'm listening to this song from QQ2007 -"我的愛回不來" by 孙燕姿. its really touches my heart.......i felt like crying but nothing comes out. i really hope he will be happy forever.........i'll always love him...
yesterday, my dad admit into hospital. lucky its juz food poisoning. looking at him resting on the bed, i felt like crying but no tears coming out. all i can do is to refill his water bottle & hold his hand. he look so old & helpless.......i know he is worried abt me & my mom. i know he want to see me to get married & live happily, before anything happened to him. i know he is suffering......... i know he know i've a bf, as he say......"san ah, if u had a bf bring him back to see us.....dun any how throw ur temper & must be nice to him. u'rent young already. i dun hve much time to be with u & mommy......" at tat time i'm really speechless. i wanted to show him the one i love...........but everything is too late. either GOD or Devil had already cruelly take him away from me. now i only left with an empty shell, without soul & heart. even if i smile but my smile never reach my eyes. if ppl really observe me, they'll see the emptiness & darkness is my eyes..........
。遗留的 不能重来。{8:20:00 AM}
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Wednesday, May 28, 2008
yesterday evening, after work i went to the 1st place we met. i know he won't be there but i still go. as this is the place which holds our memories.....its been long since i last write a diary.....i cry as i write in my little bedroom. today i'll be going there again. maybe later after tat i'll be going some where near his house to feel close with him. he'll never know............i'm there.
today the is a cold day. on my way to work the sky was dark & it rain heavily in the morning.........its review wats is my heart. i couldn't see any light in my path. the only thing which make me to stay alive is my parents........i live beoz of them.
i haven't been myself since sunday. my tears never stop since tat day. i couldn't eat nor sleep well everyday. i know i should be strong & get on with my life. but its easy to say than to be done. my heart become more & more ugly....i want him to be happy but i couldn't help myself to curse Li Xiao Xiao, in my heart i really hope she will taste back her own medicine & even want her to disappear.....if nt her, i'll be the happiest person in the world. i believe she must be very happy now as she's with the one i love. she build her happiness on another person misery. i felt like calling her & scold her but i can't. as i dun want him to stuck in between......i dun want to loose him completely.
ppl will either wonder why i still love him or scold me being stupid......nobody will understand even though he was my 3rd bf but he was the 2nd person i wanted to get married with. i'm already preapre to leave with him & stay in China, when he decide he dun want to stay in SG anymore. i'm willing to give up everything once he open his mouth. ppl might say i'm being selfish, but who won't when they're with their love one. when i love someone nothing can hold me back.......will GOD ever return the love i once lost? if nt him then never be any others.
。遗留的 不能重来。{10:55:00 AM}
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i really felt sad for the ppl who die during the disaster. its really sad to see the kids who had a bright future but die at the young age. from this can see so many ppl united & how some min ppl can be so mean. the youngster who say that kind of words in the blog, i wouldn't say that they're bad or blame them. they're juz spoil brad who didn't go through all this. they didn't taste the bitter of loosing their love one & everything. they only think of themselves. its also the culture of the world who change their thinking. dun u agree with me........... "Dear Heavenly Father, listen to my little prayer. May you bless those who survie & give them the power to move on. Please help them to get over the incident & start a new life. Bless them & shower them with your love. Please help us to save & bless those who're still not found. Dear Heavenly Father, please take good of those who was gone. They're now in your hand & care. Many of them are just children & even babies. All of them are angles. Even though they're no longer in this world but I know they will be much happier at the other side......Amen"
。遗留的 不能重来。{8:01:00 AM}
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Tuesday, May 27, 2008
today is the 2nd day after the break off.......now my left chest was empty. i couldn't feel my heart. i couldn't stop crying day & night. i couldn't stop loving him & miss him. i dun know how to smile now & even if i smile its look fake. yesterday i met a friend, looking at me she say: "through ur eyes i can only see ur pain & sorrow.....u being hurt so deep that i can't even feel ur soul...." i really cry my heart out. i dun know when i start to love him so much even though..........
i know i'll nt able to forget him....in my heart i really want him to be my 3rd & last bf. i want to be with him, marry to him & grow old together with him till the end of our time. "Dear heavenly Father pls let Yu Jie to be the last one, even we can never be together i really hope GOD will leave me alone. as i really love him & i dun want o get hurt again.....pls GOD have mercy on me. i dun want to be hurt again & again. if my parents passed away, pls take me with them. as in this world i only have them......if they left i'll be all alone. i love u FATHER Amen."
。遗留的 不能重来。{12:32:00 PM}
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Monday, May 26, 2008
yesterday, was my last day of happiness. i've lost the battle once again to a 3rd party. even though its hard to end this relationship.....but we got no choice. he know this gal as friend for more than 3yrs. he couldn't bring himself to hurt her as they've been through alot. if i say i dun blame anyone thats a lie. i really hate that gal...Li Xiao Xiao. but i dun want to let the one i love feel miserable so i decide to forgive. he give me many happy memories. i felt i was been love & treasure when he hug me. we really had a great time together. but everything got to end. after midnight, cinderlla story ends but without a happy ending........ if we're meant to be together we will be. but for now i dun want to get into another relationship. how can someone who dun have a heart to love again. moreover he's my 3rd bf & he's someone i really want to be with. to be frank i really dun know whether will i've the courage to believe in love again.
。遗留的 不能重来。{10:29:00 AM}
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Tuesday, May 20, 2008
yesterday i manage to get him. he was suprise & he explain to me wat happened. i told him how i feel & wat have i done for the pass few days. i was disappointed as on his birthday he didn't try to look for me. as i've plan to go KL for some biz meeting but becoz of him i cancel....in the end it wasted. he keep on apologise to me & told me he wanted to call my buddy kelvin to get my no.......we talk lots of thing. then he propose to me & want to meet my parents. as he want to bring me to Xi An to meet his parents & also stay there for 3mths or more. he want me to enjoy myself over there........ as he's the 1st guy who want to meet my parents on his own will. nt like my other 2 ex-bf.......hopefully he's serious with this relationship or else i really dun know wat will happened to me......
。遗留的 不能重来。{11:13:00 AM}
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Friday, May 16, 2008
yesterday evening i went to place where we 1st met. i waited for 3hrs but he's nt there. sad & disappointed i went home............ tonight i'll be going there again to wait or him......as today is the eve of his 28th birthday. even if he decide to leave me but i still hope to see him give him my birthday wish..........& tell him i love him
。遗留的 不能重来。{3:56:00 PM}
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Thursday, May 15, 2008
dun when i lost my heart to that guy who is my bf, maybe from the 1st kiss or maybe from the 1st day we met....... but i guess we're nt meant to be together. from yesterday till now i couldn't get him. maybe his phone was spoil or.......maybe its becoz of tat gal, Xiao Xiao who came from the same hometown as him. Xiao Xiao say tat she was his wife when he denie & say she is crazy. to be frank i dun really believe wat she say as i've tis kind of experience be4. he told me he's single & want to be with me & also want to take care of me. he want to bring me to his hometown for holiday & also meet his parents. he want to bring me to do laser operation for my eyes so i need nt to wear glasses. he want to give me a gd life........ even if it juz a lie but in my heart i really felt happy. i really miss him & miss his company.
this coming sat 17/5/08 is his 28th birthday. i dun know will i able to meet him or nt. as i coudn't ctc him. but from tonight onwards, i'll go to the place tat we met & wait for him...........will GOD grant me tis little wish?
。遗留的 不能重来。{9:35:00 AM}
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Tuesday, May 06, 2008
it has been long since i last log in to update my blog. it had been a rough month for me as i'm out of job for around 1mth plus. but now i manag to get a new job & its my 2nd day. although its a small comapny & nt much ppl here but i really like tis place. the ppl here r really very nice & friendly. i sincerely hope i can be here as long as i can live. i've a strange encounter on 25th April, while i was at bugis watching ppl play games. a guy who was sitting beside me talk to me. even ask me to go for a drink. i was pretty suprise. we had a drink & at the nearby coffee shop. after that we went to BQ & rest by the river side. he's from china, xi an. hahaha to my suprise he say he want to come after me. moreover he's 1yr younger than me.......wahahaha now try to save money to settle my problems. also to give my parents a gd life......when can i get a laptops.........
。遗留的 不能重来。{8:38:00 AM}
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**__+ 奶嘴与宝贝 +__**
** 女人 **
@ NaMe : Cat（猫咪） @
@ Orgin : Singapore（新加坡）@
@ Nick Name: Baby（宝贝）@
@ Age : 29 yrs old @
@ D.O.B : 10th Feb 1979 @
@ Zodiac : Earth Lamb（羊）@
@ Horoscope : Aquarius（水瓶座）@
@ Height : 164cm @
@ Blood Type : O+ @
@ Favourite colour : Purple（紫色）@
** 男人 **
@ NaMe : Huo Yu Jie（霍豫杰） @
@ Orgin : China, XiAn（中国，西安）@
@ Nick Name: Pacifier（奶嘴）@
@ Age : 28 yrs old @
@ D.O.B : 17th May 1980 @
@ Zodiac : Metal Monkey（猴）@
@ Horoscope : Taurus（金牛座）@
@ Height : 180cm @
@ Blood Type : A+ @
@ Favourite colour : Purple（紫色） @
